Continued from Part One...
British Invasion
After a fruitless 2008 – unless, of course, you, at your own risk, label Marty Smyth a member of the UK –, the British invasion returned this year with the sole intention of returning with more bling than the lovechild of Jimmy Saville and Mr T. Although US pros tend to be dismissive of our capabilities, God Save the Queen bellowed out of the loudspeakers a credible three times. Whilst the likes of Jeff Kimber, Praz Bansi, Peter Gould and Steve Jelinek came desperately close to bracelet gold, the three musketeers were ultimately JP Kelly, Roland De Wolfe, and John Kabbaj.
I spoke to all three of our winners in the aftermath, and all were nonchalant in victory, in particular JP who remains as laidback as he was when he won his first circuit event at Walsall in 2005. Even a £45,000 win at the Luton Springfest the following year didn’t seem to surprise him. I wrote an article about JP for taoofpoker.com called New Kid in Town, but one thing I didn’t mention was the backing he received from Neil Channing. “I was just sitting there playing when JP was on for a bracelet,” regaled the Black Belt Poker co-founder. “Jeff Kimber came up to me and said, ‘Must be nice to be Neil Channing.’ I had no idea what he was talking about until he reminded me that I had 15 percent in JP. I’d completely forgotten.” Thanks to Jeff, although I’m sure JP’s honest enough to back up his butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth persona, Neil received a $30,000 payday from, as often seems to be the case, the comfort of his own buttocks.
One question that I’ve heard repeatedly is: “Why are the Brits doing well so suddenly?” “I read a golf book once by Keith Elliott,” says Keith Hawkins, “that suggested if a golfer sees his peers doing well in a major tournament, it makes them think they can achieve the same too. I'm sure that's what happened this year with the Brits.” Roland De Wolfe may reply with the one word answer of “variance”, but others are less cynical (or, perhaps, more hopeful), preferring to highlight a more serious approach to poker from the Brits. Is it possible that recession has meant that we can no longer go to Vegas and fuck around? Maybe we’re just getting better at poker, or using our, ahem, superior skills to take advantage of the triple stack. Hmm, I’m leaning towards the “variance” camp. One thing to note is that none of the events were no Limit Hold’em tournaments – if only it was the World Series of Pot Limit Poker, we’d come back with more jewellery than Goldsmiths.
Nevermind the Pollocks
Despite the success, there was one unhappy ending when John Kabbaj’s awards ceremony dealt a smiting blow, the proud bracelet winner caught unawares as the Sex Pistols’ rather less complimentary version of ‘God Save the Queen’ echoed around the room. After the conclusion of the track, Jon Shoreman and Dave Barnes left their cash game to confront Jeffrey Pollock, demanding answers to why their national pride had been besmirched. Pollock, clearly not accustomed to being spoken to so aggressively, was rather taken aback, and pleaded ignorance rather than intent, which is likely accurate. It soon emerged that Pollock didn’t realise the lyrics were different and duly apologised “on behalf of the World Series of Poker”. Shoreman and Barnes departed dissatisfied, perhaps thinking that the home nation were mocking the Brits in some form. “Imagine how they would have reacted if it had been the other way round,” grumbled Barnes.
As Gary 'The Whacker' Bush commented, “There are more important things to worry about than what version of the national anthem they play,” but boy was it fucking hilarious to see a blissfully unaware Pollack bop his head and fist-punch the air to lines such as, “the fascist regime” and “she ain’t no human being”.
Poker Punked
Continuing with Harrah’s theme of showcasing a rare sense of humour – this was the biggest shock of them all – Shaun Deeb was the victim of a cruel prank near the tail end of the Series. With PokerNews presenter and failing boxer(ette) Melissa Castello – to emerge later – playing Ashton Kutcher, and tournament director and general nice guy Steve Frezer playing the actor who is in every Punked scene, yet remains bizarrely unrecognisable, Deeb was pulled from the Six-Handed No Limit Hold’em Freezeout for a unexpected grilling.
“Surveillance,” started Frezer, “what they do is that anybody with a hoody, they train a camera on them, and they say they saw you pull chips out of your pocket and add them to your stack.” “There’s no way I’d ever do that,” protested a dumfounded Deeb as he stood aghast in his shorts and flip-flop – the standard garb for such a prestigious festival. “That’s what surveillance just said,” confirmed Frezer.
After positioning him in front of the camera and threatening to disqualify him from all future Harrah’s events, Frezer and co. finally came clean when Castello raced around the corner like Jeremy Beadle sans gammy hand. “I really fucking hate you,” said Deeb, not mincing his words, but taking it all in good spirit. Gags are like buses for Harrah’s, except you wait for decades rather than minutes. Let’s hope it’s a continuing trend.
Thang Tough
Possibly one of the greatest achievements WSOP has seen – and something that will has been overshadowed by Ivey, Lisandro and, now, the subject’s own actions – is Thang Luu’s second, first and first in consecutive years in the Omaha High-Low variant, a game which, I think it’s fair to say, he appears to excel in. Sadly, despite his achievement, he was banned from all Harrah’s property due to an altercation with a dealer.
In a game of, not surprisingly, Omaha High-Low, Luu’s hand was counterfeited on the river, thus losing him a sizable pot. However, Luu didn’t take defeat too well, and as the dealer went to muck his cards, brought his fist down and “broke” the dealer’s hand. Of course, there was a big kafuffle, and after the dust had settled, Luu was given his marching orders. I can just picture him standing there, secretly praying that Castello would skip around the corner and shove a microphone in his face. Funnily enough, that didn’t happen, as on this occasion, he did actually commit the crime he was being accused of.
Comedy Name of the Series
As has become an annual tradition, the most common surname at the World Series was Nguyen, a name that approximately 40 percent of Vietnamese people have (fact), and considering 90 percent of players are Vietnamese (fabrication), it was of no surprise to see it dominate the player sheets. Amid the written version of Being John Malkovich, however, was an intriguing name that caused much amusement in the pressroom and led to numerous puntastic headlines which I’m sure you could conjure yourself. Ladies and gentleman, I bring you the biggest fish at the World Series – Randy Haddock. He must surely have been table Caption with billions of blistering blue chips.
Beard of the Series
Easy. Andy Black’s facial growth had Mike Matusow claiming Bin Laden had entered the room. A few days later, the beard was gone, which was crying shame as it reminded me fondly of a cracking episode of Family Guy in which Peter Griffin kept a nest of birds in his beard. Still, it was fun whilst it lasted.
to be continued...